The One Who Showed Me the World
by Mom Stalks You
Summary: Because his true gender was always kept secret, Mikado was forced to stay within palace walls all his life. Until the day that he must marry another man. After meeting this wonderful and kind boy, he learns about love and the beauty of the world; but he also learns how frightening, twisted, and cruel it is as well.
1. Chapter 1

**After getting crammed next to my little sister, making my ears pop, telling my dad to sit his ass back down, and getting sick on airplane food, I decided I was bored enough to get my ass moving on this project. So yeah, I'm stuck in a plane as I write this and my butt and back hurt already, but screw that. Wait, why am I talking about this to myself?**

**Okay, sorry about the slightly altered last names and Shizu-chan's gender, but this story is supposed to take place during a previous life that the characters lived, don't worry, they're still identifiable. Be warned! There will be a character death later on, and it will be dramatic. Not in a ****_Gone with the Wind _****sense, though, that would be way too extreme. **

* * *

I sat calmly before my aunt in the respectful manner that she had taught me to, back straight, looking straightforward, with a blank expression. I was dressed in the heavy silk kimono that all lord's daughters wore, with my long black hair tied back. Anyone that assumed me to be the fifteen year old niece of the noble lady that served the emperor so loyally were wrong. I was actually in fact, a boy.

Not long after I had been born, my mother and father died unexpectedly, leaving me with no other living relatives except for my terrifying aunt. For some unknown reason, my aunt raised me as girl even though I well knew the difference between men and women. My hair had been grown out long and I wore a girl's kimono everywhere I went which was embarrassing. Since my birth name so happened to be Mikado, I received the fake girl's nickname of Miko. No one besides my aunt, my doctor, and the closest servants knew that I was truly a boy.

Of course, since almost everyone in the castle thinks that I am a girl, I have never in my life been allowed outside the castle, because 'it's not safe for young women'. I haven't even been allowed to go to any of the places that my aunt goes to visit.

My aunt was the powerful and greatly respected lord of the majority of the land of the Chūgoku region of Japan. She may have been a woman, but her father was very sickly and had no sons or nephews that could take over. Thus, taking advantage of the opportunity to show the country the true power of women, my aunt forced her father out of office and took over. To keep the emperor from forcing her out, my aunt black mailed the him with all sorts of disturbing scandalous events that occurred under him, which worked beautifully of course.

She was a lean and fairly muscular woman that wore men's pants underneath a woman's kimono with her wrapped chest exposed so you could see all of the disfigured battle scars on her upper half. Of course, you can't miss the four and a half foot long katana at her belt. Upon first meeting her, most people would think that she was a yakuza boss, but in truth, she was a very kind but cold person that had a difficult time expressing her feelings to others. She was also incredibly voluptuous, but in a direful way. Along with all of the other odd appearance features to her, there was one thing about her that stood out against all the rest, and they were those bright violet eyes of hers that could bore into your very soul.

"Um... Is there a reason you called me in here?" I ask nervously as my aunt glares down at the long letter that she had received from a neighboring lord.

She lets out a long sigh and says in an exhausted voice, "The lord of the area to the south of us is dying. And he wishes to have his child married before he dies so there can be a successor."

"Your going to have me married? But who will succeed you, then?" I tilt my head to the side a little.

"That's not the problem here, Mikado. We plan on joining our land and becoming one, so we can have one ruler, we have that much planned." I nod, understanding completely. "However, the real problem on our hands is that this lord doesn't know that you're a boy." _WHAT? _

"Y-you can't mean that his successor is a man!" I stammer, trying to reassure myself, but it's true, living being outside of our region knew about my real gender. She can hear my panic and nods solemnly as she rubs her temples out of frustration. I'm positively mortified. "That's impossible! I can't marry his son! If they find out I'm another boy, they'll have me killed for sure!"

The door of my aunt's study opens and Shizuko Heiwahara enters. She is the castle's head servant and is my aunt's closest friend while also being heavy with child. Shizuko is married to Izaya Heiwahara, who is second most powerful commander of my aunt's samurai, my aunt being at the top of course. "What's all of the yelling about?" She asks, raising an eyebrow as she sets down the tea she brought.

Being one of the few people that knows my real gender, I throw my arms around her and cry, "Heiwahara, auntie wants to marry me out to another boy!"

My aunt looks up and gives me an odd look. "'Auntie'?" We end up completely ignoring her confusion.

As a child, Shizuko had to be my nanny since my aunt had no time to raise me herself with her work, so she always listened to everything I said. She looked up at my aunt. "Does he mean Kidaki's boy, Kamikawa?"** My aunt quietly nods again. "Well, I'm not so worried about the boy, but I am about the father." She says this so calmly, almost as if nobody needs to worry about it.

I leap off of her. "How can you shrug this off so easily?!"

"You'll just need to meet the kid to understand, dear." She stays calmly. The door opens again, this time being my childhood friend, Anri, who is another servant that also knows my gender.

"Um... Miss Heiwahara?" Her sweet voice barely a whisper. Shizuko looks up. "You were taking awhile, so I was worried that something came up..."

"Oh, something came up alright." Shizuko nods her head in my direction. "Young master is panicking because it's so horrible to marry another boy. That boy being Kidaki."

"Oh... Kidaki? Why didn't you tell me earlier? You really shouldn't worry about it..."

"You all are horrible! How is this so easy for you?!"

Almost as if to make things worse, Izaya pops up behind Anri with a stupid grin on his face. "Hey, Kidaki is here!"

"What?! Why didn't you tell me this as he was coming here NOW?!" My head is spinning. What in the world is going on?

* * *

We welcome a young emissary from the lord Kidaki and an accompanying boy about my age with fairly good looks. I instantly know that he's Kidaki's son. He has warm brown eyes that slowly look me over as I sit next to my aunt. The young emissary who introduced himself as Yumasaka is trapped in a conversation with my aunt that I can no longer hear because I am too busy trying not to look like I am staring at Kidaki's son. I can tell that I am doing a terrible job of it, though.

My aunt glances over at me and Kidaki and emotionlessly tells the emissary, "I have some papers that your master needs to look over and sign. Come with me, please." I watch as she escorts him out of the room, leaving me behind with the other boy.

When the doors close, I'm too flustered to even look in his direction, I angrily scold myself mentally for blushing because of another boy. _Why is it that I feel this way? _When I hear movement coming from the direction of Kidaki, my curiosity gets the best of me and I look over at him, just in time to catch him climbing over my body and pushing me onto the floor.

"WHA-!" Before I can yell for help, he softly presses his lips to mine. At first, I think he only did it to shut me up, but then I begin to lose my strength and even start to get lost in him. I can only snap back to reality when he sneaks his hand under my kimono and starts to grope my crotch. I cringe and try to push him off, but he remains firm, he just continues to make it even more intense by snaking his tongue into my mouth.

Just as I start to lose myself again, he pulls away and crawls off of my body and starts closing up my kimono. It's only then do I realize that my bare chest has been exposed. I blush. If he had felt me and had seen my chest, then that ought to be enough proof for him that I am actually a boy.

When I look at his face, he actually looks quite satisfied and is blushing himself, not seeming at all to be flustered by my gender. "What... What's your real name?" My request ends up coming out in a voice like Anri's.

"You're adorable." He smiles at me when I hide my bright red face with my sleeves. "My name is Kidaki Masaomi." Masaomi. His speaks in a voice that is gentle and kind, just as he is when he touched me. Just thinking about it makes my face even hotter, I can almost feel the heat radiating from my face against my hands.

"I know they call you Miko, but that can't be you're real name if you were born a boy."

There's a long pause as I try to decide if I should tell him or not. "Mikado..." I whisper. "My name is Kamikawa Mikado."

He holds out a hand and strokes my face. "I can't wait to make you my wife, Mikado."

* * *

**Hmmmmmmmmmmm... I seem to have forgotten the part about the crazy turbulence and how it's FUCKING UP MY TYPING! Oh, hey there! Thank you so much from moi, le author! Please review and tell me what ya think, yeah? Damn I'm already talking like my aunt (-_-;) **

****the name Kamikawa is written in the kanji (神川****) which mean 'god river'. To those of you who have read my story ****_I'll Kill You Later_****, you may notice that there is a recurring OC with a fairly similar name, like I said in that story, got any idea who she might be? And why are Shizuo and Izaya in a similar situation?**


	2. Chapter 2

**After gorging myself on Costco rotisserie chicken, I decided that it would be easier on me and my schoolwork if I wrote at least two chapters while I was spending two weeks in an area with no wi-fi. Plus I'm on vacation, so I have plenty of time on my hands and I like writing stories, so it's okay. BTW, that Costco rotisserie chicken is damn good. **

**;D Lol, I'm in Hawaii visiting my family for winter break right now and I'm having a great time~~! One of Hawaii's best points is all the cute local boys. Just go to the grocery store and there's a cute Japanese guy. Turn around and there's a hot (but short) Filipino guy. It's just too fuckin awesome~~. Another good point is the part where I'm towering over everyone. Including grown men. Lol, it doesn't make sense, but I'm a 5'6'' Japanese girl. It's kind of sad that I'm taller than a lot of white boys. **

* * *

It has been several days since Masaomi first visited, but I still have a fluttery feeling in my stomach whenever I think of him, which is practically all the time. I feel like an idiot, constantly thinking about someone who I've only recently met and barely know; the fact that this person is another boy, makes me feel like an even bigger idiot. Even now as sit at the table eating dinner with my family, I can't suppress the embarrassing blush rising in my cheeks as I think of him.

My family isn't just my aunt, it's everyone that knows my real gender, the people that are the the closest to us; the two Heiwaharas (maybe more like the three Heiwaharas.), Anri, my doctor whose name is Shinra Kishida, and his lover, our mysterious headless mercenary from the west named Celty Sterluson. I never knew where she came from or why she carried that beautiful head of her's instead of wearing it on her shoulders; but she was always kind to me and was the palace's secret protector, known only to our family.

Both Izaya and my aunt had very difficult workdays today, so the table was silent as my aunt happily (though she isn't showing it) ate her favorite food, Shizuko's fantastic takoyaki. Izaya on the other hand, simply had a bowl of rice and spent the rest of the time in Shizuko's embrace. I glance over in their direction. Izaya has his head rested on Shizuko's shoulder with his face nuzzled in her neck and his hand is gently caressing her swollen tummy. The two look so happy together that I can't help but wonder what marriage is really like. Though I am not anywhere near as beautiful as Shizuko, nor a woman, Kidaki still seemed incredibly happy to have met me. I don't understand.

* * *

Long after everyone else has gone off to bed, my aunt is dressing me in my evening kimono, which she always does despite her work. "What have you been so worried about lately?" She says as emotionlessly as usual.

"W-what are you talking about?" I stammer. My aunt's purple eyes are staring into the deepest darkest pits of my soul as she glares down at me.

"You really thought that I wouldn't notice?" She's right. There's no way you can get by my aunt with anything, which is why I never even thought of sneaking out off of the palace grounds. "You're thinking about Kidaki aren't you?"

"N-"

"Don't lie. I know perfectly well what happened in that room the other night. You're not in trouble, I'm glad that you two have a good connection already." Thank goodness, I've always wondered if my aunt would let it go or chop me up if I lost my virginity at a young age.

My aunt and I didn't talk often, but she always listened when we had the chance to. "Well, I'm just not sure if I should go through with this or not... He is a boy after all... And what he did the other night makes it really hard for me to get him off my mind-"

"So in other words, you're in love with him." It's odd to hear this from a person that only knows familial love.

"Well..." She smiles a little when she sees me blush. Her smile is one of the rarest things seen by man, but it always either looks beautiful or psychotic. This one is the most lovely of them all.

"You sound just like Shizuko and Izaya did when they met. Denying love for one another, squabbling and throwing various sharp objects at one another when they got the chance. Once Shizuko even picked Izaya up and threw him out the window when he groped her breast to make her angry."

"Really? I would have never guessed by how they acted now."

"Oh, yes. When Izaya first came to the castle to be appointed to the spot he has now, he and Shizuko hated one another instantly. Izaya would make all sorts of rude, teasing remarks to make her mad, and Shizuko would yell a weak comeback at him, it was hilarious. It was obvious that Izaya only did it because he thought she was cute and liked to mess with her, while Shizuko thought he was challenging her and always tried to make herself look like she was just as good as he was." My aunt chuckles at the memory. It's strange because it seems like she will only show her real thoughts and emotions to me, like I'm her own child.

"Then one day I got the three of us together and explained exactly what was really between the two and their faces got so red! They were adorable!" My aunt looks at me and smirks. "So don't think for a second that I don't know love when I see it. When I saw Kidaki's face the other night, I knew perfectly well that he wanted you all to himself." This makes the heat rise into my cheeks. _Kidaki really wanted me that badly? He had only told me that he thought I was cute..._

"He'll be visiting again tomorrow, so I'm glad that you want to see him." She smiles softly and pulls a strand of hair behind my ear. "You look gorgeous. Be ready for tomorrow, alright? Goodnight, dear."

* * *

When I wake, I instantly jump out of my futon (even though the sun hasn't even risen yet.) and hurriedly yank a comb through my tangled hair, then badly attempt to put on my kimono. I'm so flustered that I can't even keep my obi smoothed out on my waist. At last, Shizuko comes into my room and saves me from the jumbled mess that I have gotten myself into.

I fidget nervously, constantly asking myself if I look okay and if my clothes are on correctly. When I realize what I'm doing I ask myself why I'm still so obsessed with another boy of all things. Shizuko sees my worrying through my firm expression and punches me gently in the arm as if to say: "Calm down already, it could be worse."

The young lord enters the room accompanied by the Yumasaka boy and a pretty young handmaiden with dark hair that is pulled back in a braid. I begin to worry again when I see her, but my frets vanish as she turns bright red at something that Yumasaka whispers in her ear.

I think she said, "Now isn't the time for that kind of talk!" Could I ever be like that with someone? Could I ever be like that with Kidaki? What am I talking about? We're both men!

The trio bow respectively to my aunt and I, though the entire time, Kidaki and I were trapped in our own little world, staring into each other's eyes. No, not Kidaki. Masaomi. That beautiful name that made my heart skip.

My aunt looks down at him calmly with a stern expression. "Kidaki Masaomi, why did you ask for our audience today?"

He jumps. "Oh! Yes," He painfully pulls his gaze from mine to face my aunt's cold scowl. "I came to ask for your permission to allow your niece to stay at my residence until our marriage."

My heart stops. I have never left the castle grounds because my aunt would never let me leave. She was so protective of me that she looked disgusted at the thought of letting me out. Slowly, I turn to my aunt. She is frozen with a wide-eyed, terrified expression on her face, as if it brought up some horrifying memory.

* * *

WHOOPWHOOPWHOOPWHOOP! *at least try to imagine me doing the Zoidberg run*. Oh shit! Uh... Hey there! Sorry if this chapter was short, but I guess I sorta got somewhere with it! Heh, yeah I know, sad. Okay! I tried to... Aw, fuck I don't even know what to write in the author's note today. Shit, but yeah, I'm kind of out of calories to burn today, cause I burned out in mandarin and almost fell asleep several times. (-_-;)


	3. Chapter 3

**So sorry that I took so damn long, I'm kind of overwhelmed from writing two fanfics at once along with all my school work. (As soon as I get rolling on a bunch of stories, my teachers suddenly decide to dump a bunch of work on me, WTF?!) Okay, it's also problematic that I'm currently addicted to Fruit Ninja (AGAIN) and its hard to force myself to write this instead of play the game. (ooh! That sounded kind of wrong!) Anyway, I'll shut up now so I can get on with the story. (What the hell? My mom and sister sound like they're trying to make the second story of our house cave in...)**

* * *

Masaomi and his servants left not too long after my aunt told him that she'd think about his request. Even though she looked absolutely mortified one moment, she quickly jumped back to her stern, cold attitude. But as soon as he had taken his leave, her head practically exploded.

"WHATTHEFUCK?! OH MERCIFUL PAN KU! WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO NOW?!" She shrieked, making everyone in the room jump about a foot into the air, and making the entire palace quake. She even grabbed a table and started bashing it on her head.

"M-my lady!" Shizuko yelps, her husband shaking off the shock and running to my aunt. "Stop it! You'll only make your migraines worse!" Finally, Izaya and a few of his men wrestle the table out of her hands after getting a few others knocked out. My aunt was then dragged to her room to be put down for a rest.

I turn to Shizuko, utterly dumbfounded. "Wh-what was that all about? I've never seen her lose it like that!"

Shizuko rubs the back of her neck worriedly. "Well... It's kind of a long story, and I believe it's best that she tells you herself. It was a very traumatic time for her, and what happened back then is the reason that she is so protective of you."

_What? But how? My aunt is hard as adamant, how could something make her so overprotective of a single person? _I keep asking myself questions that I know I can never answer.

"She's that way because of what happened to your older brother." Shizuko's looks disgusted at the mere memory of what happened.

* * *

Ice cold water pours across my body and pools at the floor. I shiver and quickly clamber into the steaming bath water. The crickets and cicadas are chirping their usual summer songs as I silently wonder what in the world could be bothering my aunt so badly.

I take a deep breath and dunk my face into the hot water, my midnight sky colored hair fans across the surface, with little strands dancing in the water around my face. _Why does she always keep the most important things from me? _

A sudden knock at the door makes me yank my head out of the water, my drenched hair whips through the air and plasters to my face. When I realize that I shouldn't have panicked, I step out of the bath, and wrap my robe around my bare body.

"Enter." I say, as formally as possible. I'm relieved to see that it's only Celty, her head wearing a stern but worried expression. "Oh, hello Celty, what is it?"

She bows and strides toward me. "The mistress has requested your audience." Her serene, beautiful head says calmly.

"Understood. Thank you, I'll be there in a minute." Instead of turning and taking her leave, her head giggles. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing, I'm just glad that you like the young lord Kidaki." _Why are women so crazy about this subject?_ I want to say, 'we're both men! All I have for him is respect!' But even I know that it's a lie. I blush when I remember how gently, but passionately he had kissed and held me several nights before.

"Alright, have a good rest my lady." Her head smiles and winks at me before vanishing behind the closed door.

* * *

I softly knock on my aunt's door, and tense when I hear her calmly say, "Enter."

I can't imagine how stressed she is. The last time I saw her like this was when she was reading an ancient scroll and was screaming to herself about some people named 'Hitrar', 'Mushukini', and 'Tojo' and how her schedule wouldn't allow her to be there to kick their... (Um, I'm not allowed to say such a word, but for now let's say 'behind'). I'm not sure if the names were quite like that, because I was very small at the time.

I take a deep breath and step into her room. She's removed her kimono to reveal her wrapped chest and the horrible scars all over her shoulders and back. I wince every time I see them. "You called me?" I say, trying to keep my voice as monotone as possible.

She sighs deeply. "Yes... I must apologize to you, for keeping this a secret for so long... Please sit." I do as directed. "The reason you are not allowed access to to the outside world is because of your older brother." _I had a brother? _She sees my stunned expression and nods.

"While your mother was pregnant with you, you had an eight-year-old older brother. He was a very gentle boy, and the fact that you looked so much like him made me want to protect you even more. You see, because he was a boy, he was allowed to do practically anything he wanted, even at such a young age. One day when your mother and I were busy discussing family matters with the Heiwaharas, your brother was in the care of a clumsy handmaiden that lost sight of him. He wandered out of the castle gates and the guards stupidly allowing him to leave without supervision because he had the freedom of a man. When he didn't return, your mother was in absolute panic, and we had sent out search parties, but had no luck finding the young lord. Finally, after three days of searching, he was spotted by the river east of here, he had been raped and then violently murdered by some deranged man." My stomach churns. _What? My brother... Why was I not informed of this until now? _

"Your mother was so horrified by what had happened that she blamed herself for not taking responsibility if him. She said that you would be safer without her as your mother, and shortly after your birth, she committed suicide. I was enraged, and blinded by my fury, I hunted down that man and made I him bleed to death. I laughed at his miserable screaming and pleads for mercy. Then I took his head and threw it at the feet of the guards that had failed me before I had Izaya behead them as well. I secretly raised you as a girl so you would never be allowed the same freedom that endangered your elder brother. It was both a good and bad choice on my part. I denied you the freedom you deserved, and I believe that you are old enough to go with Kidaki to his castle, but only because I trust that boy, I believe that he is in fact good enough to have your hand in marriage-"

"A-AUNTIE!" I was so flustered that I accidentally interrupted her.

She gives me a surprised look. "Oh my, are you EMBARRASSED?" She teases with a huge, malicious grin.

I shake my head wildly. "NONONONONO- Ah! I-I'm sorry!" I can't believe I lashed out in such a way so suddenly.

She cackles. "Yes, yes, now when you marry be sure to bear me lots if grand nieces and nephews, okay?" She sounds like a really traditional Japanese mother.

My jaw drops. "How can you say that?! I'm a man, it's impossible!"

"Honey, if you want, I can MAKE it possible." She winks, obviously coming up with a bunch of dirty thoughts in the spot.

"AUNTIE!"

* * *

My aunt sent notice to the young lord a couple days ago, so I had time to pack for the trip to the northern region that is Kidaki's home. Today is the day that I will take my leave, and I can't stop asking myself if I'm really ready for this; if my aunt is ready to let me go. However, I am assuming that all loving parents must go through this emotional challenge with their children.

As I exit my room for probably the last time, I turn to find my aunt, Izaya, and Shizuko. My aunt's face is as expressionless as usual, Shizuko is smiling confidently at me, and Izaya looks like he's about to bawl his eyes out.

Finally, Izaya loses it and throws his arms around me. "Oh, young master! I thought that one day, after the mistress had died, I could teach you to sword fight!"

"HEY!" My aunt yells furiously.

"All right, all right, that's enough you big baby; now stop sexually harassing the young master." Shizuko grabs his collar and yanks him off of me.

"What are you talking about, honey? I ain't gay! - No offense, young master."

"None taken. Oh, Izaya, I've been wanting to ask, what, ah... Floor were you thrown from?" I couldn't help but wonder ever since my aunt had told me the story of how Shizuko and Izaya's relationship started.

The couple look at each other or a second then look at my aunt. "Wait, you told him that story?" Izaya raises an eyebrow at her questioningly.

"Yep, the WHOOOOLLLLLLLEE THIIIIIIINNGG." My aunt is famous for saying sarcastic things with a blank expression. "Okay, I didn't tell him what you two did together after I explained what your real feelings were." This time she smirks, getting a small nosebleed.

"MISTRESS! STOP IMPLYING THINGS!" The two shriek in unison, their faces bright red.

Izaya shakes his head. "N-no matter. Anyway, I believe it was the third floor that I was thrown from. I'm not guaranteeing that it's the correct, because SOMEONE didn't stop me from almost falling to my death." He shoots my aunt an angry glare. "My back hurts every time I think about it, I hope you know."

My aunt rolls her eyes like a nonchalant teenage girl. "Well it's not MY fault that you were an asshole back then."

"Oh yeah? Well who ever said that I'm still not an asshole NOW?" He throws his arm around his wife, grabs one her enormous breasts, and grins as if the state he's in is absolute bliss. He ended up getting off with a slap this time.

* * *

As soon as Kidaki arrives, he leaps from the carriage, tightly grabs my waist and kisses me. Lips, cheek, and neck. I blush, unable to believe that he's doing this in front of my entire family. I turn to look over my shoulder at them, but they're all completely calm and are giving me thumbs up. I turn red when Izaya and my aunt hold up their hands, making a ring with the thumb and index finger, then start sticking the other thumb into the ring. (When Shizuko noticed, she yelled at them.)

I glare at my moronic adoptive relatives, silently thankful that I'm only really related to one of them. I turn back, to Kidaki, who's looking over at them with a goofy expression on his face. He had obviously seen what they were doing. "You're no better than they are." I grumble to him.

He laughs. "Sorry! Anyway, shall we take our leave? It looks like they're done packing your belongings." He nods toward the carriage and strokes my hair lovingly. I can't help but smile at those wonderful, gentle eyes of his. _Why am I so drawn to him?_

"Yes... Let's go." I whip my head around to scowl at my family, who are now having a heated argument about appropriate behavior. "YOU HAD BETTER BEHAVE YOURSELVES! DON'T YOU DARE BURN THE HOUSE DOWN WHILE I'M AWAY!" I yell, directing my attention specifically at Shinra and Izaya, but I know that they're all quite capable of going all out and destroying the place.

The way they wave at me reassures me that what I just said went through one ear and out the other. I sigh. _They're all hopeless_. Masaomi laughs and squeezes my hand. "Sorry... They're a bit unpredictable sometimes."

"That's alright. The crazier the family, the more fun the members are." His unlimited kindness is part of the reason I admire him so, but, I feel something more for him. Ever since our first meeting, I couldn't get him off my mind. My aunt kept calling that love, but he is the one that loves me, I simply respect him. Well, maybe I like him, but not to the point of doing unmentionable things with him... I don't know what love feels like, but I enjoy being in his embrace, and I don't want to admit it, but I know that I have a lot more than respect for him.

* * *

**YET AGAIN, I sincerely apologize for the delay, I am horrible at planning things out. Plus my teachers are being absolute douche bags right now. Anyway, I'm alternating between stories to write the chapters. Ugh... (-_-;) Yeah, I know the second half of the story was on serious crack, but you would know that I'm like that if you've read my other stories.**


	4. Apologies

So so so so so SO sorry, but I'm not sure if I will be able to update these stories in awhile. I'm being completely bombarded by assignments, my schedule is fucked up beyond imagination, my great uncle is in the hospital, and I am lacking an enormous amount of self esteem and energy. I sincerely apologize and I thank you all graciously for your patience and support. I'm really really sorry.


	5. Chapter 4

**IIIIITTTTTT'SSSSS MOMMY! Lawls, sorry about that, I promise I won't kill you. Maybe. I'm sorry I took so damn long. The assignments wouldn't stop, and then finals came along, and now I need pills for a few mental problems I have. (But be thankful, I could barely even read before I got them.) Anyway, I sincerely apologize for my inability to cope with stress and my intense laziness, I've just been so tired; plus my iPod deleted the progress I had made on this chapter and I had to start over. Warnings of a partial lemon and I'm sorry it's only partial. (-_-;)**

* * *

The road that we were traveling down in the carriage was completely surrounded by countless rice fields that seemed to go on forever. I noticed that every three fields or so only had four people to tend to them; I couldn't even imagine how difficult it was to take care of so many at a time. Kidaki told me that they were all taken care of by a single clan, and further north there were even more that were tended to by people of a different clan, but were of the same village.

"Everyone from that village wastes away in the fields so they can pay my father for the land and still save enough to feed their families until next season. If they can't pay him, he kills them all, and not to mention the bandits that have been going around lately." He scowls and watches a hunched old woman plant the sprouts in the ground. "As soon as that bastard breathes his last, I'll make sure that they won't have to slave away like this for their entire lives. I want all of my people to enjoy being alive and and I want them to spend this wasted time with those that they love. After all, those people put the flavor and happiness in our lives." He smiles, and I feel like I'm looking into the heavens.

_He is truly a pure, respectable person._

Kidaki turns toward me. "Are you hot? Your face is a little red." Oh God, was I blushing?!

"Oh! Uh, yes, it is a little hot from the humidity!" I'm lying, I know it, so why am I refusing to admit the truth?

* * *

Upon arriving to the castle, my eyes just about pop out of my head when I see the gigantic palace. It has to be two, no three times bigger than the Kamikawa castle that I grew up in. We are greeted at the gate by practically every person that serves the family; they all bow and greet me as if I were the emperor himself. It's embarrassing enough to be shown this much respect, that is, until Kidaki wraps a strong arm around my shoulders and kisses my cheek gently. (This action receives a few squeals from the handmaidens.) I love the feeling of his warmth resonating across my body; then I start thinking about how much more of his heat I could feel if the we were both... _OH GOD! WHAT AM I THINKING?! Damn this perverted blood of my family! I can almost hear my Aunt's voice saying, 'Hey, it could also have been exposure to Izaya.'_

I slap my hands against both my cheeks. "Shut up, Auntie, I don't care about your opinion!" I grumble under by breath to, well, the voice in my head. _Oh dear._

Kidaki bursts into laughter. "Don't tell me you're homesick already!"

* * *

What happened afterwards was a blur, however, this was not my fault because of a servant that continued to pour me sake at dinner even after I told him I didn't drink; and the rules of etiquette that I had been raised on told me to drink any amount of sake I was given because it was polite. So, I ended up hammered out of my mind.

"... An' so- mah Aunt iss alwayss talkin' 'bout how 'da world'z gonna be dess-royed by a bunch o' glowin' balls o' light and giant mushroooooomsss... Er... Or some-pin like dat. But def-nit-lee not lumps o' reanimated flessshhh..." At last, Kidaki notices how drunk I really am when he hears my strange rambling; he runs to my side, giggling a little at how ridiculous I sound, and he hefts me into his arms with my face inches from his.

"Eh... Excuse me, I believe my darling needs to go lie down." He smiles charismatically at the crowd, this time receiving several hoots from the men. He hurries out of the room and down halls with a skip in his step, acting as if I weigh nothing at all.

I snicker like an idiot. "Whoa, y'ur strog, do you beat the shit out o' bears like Shizuukooo?" (This actually happened, but it's a long story, so don't ask.)

Kidaki smiles, "It has to be really bad if the Mikado I know is using profanity."

I wrap my arms around Kidaki's neck. "Hooooold meee, Masa-chaaaan..."

His grin gets bigger. "Never mind, I like this!"

When we get to his room, he wipes my face with a cold, drenched towel, snapping me out of my wacky delusions a little. "It's no fun if you can't remember it." Kidaki blushes as he rubs my red face.

This confuses me a bit since I still don't quite know what's going on. "Wai- wha-?"

He takes hold of my shoulders and pushes me the floor, opening my heavy kimono to expose my masculine chest just like when we first met. He leans down and kisses me, slipping his tongue into my mouth and reaching into my kimono, running his hands along the underside of my thighs and feeling my crouch with his. I begin to become aroused as I feel his against my own. I blush and push away his clothes, feeling his muscular back and smooth skin and pulling his body close to mine.

_Why am I acting this way? I feel like I've really turned into a woman._

But being with him makes me feel like I'm really alive, like I'm worth something to someone besides my insane, overprotective family. I can feel his heart slamming against my chest and I'm sure he feels mine. Kidaki spreads my legs wide and pulls away, leaving a string of saliva dripping from our lips. My breathing intensifies as I prepare for what is about to come. He pushes two of his fingers into my hole, sending shivers down my spine; I arch my back and moan, begging him to hurry up with my body. _How did I become this way? I feel dirty, but I enjoy it..._

Then just as I really start to get into the mood, there's a soft knock at the door; I curse inwardly and Kidaki scowls as he puts his clothes back together. I scramble to do the same as he walks to the door grumbling to himself about how close he was to sending my virginity to hell again and again. (I can't help but make a face when I hear this.)

He cracks the door open to keep me from the interruption's line of sight. "What is it? This had better be good." I can almost see the smoke rising from his head.

The servant on the opposite side of the door squeaks in fear. "Ah, yessir, the master wishes to speak with you immediately. I apologize, but he claims it's incredibly important." I hear him get on the floor to bow to his young master. "Please excuse me."

Kidaki groans and before taking his leave, he turns toward me, his expression softened for me and only me. "I'm sorry about this, I'll come right back as soon as the old coot is done rambling." Then he stumbles down the hall, his hardened item making it difficult to walk; I can't help but giggle. Once he is out of sight, I decide to explore the courtyard which is just down the hall.

Just before I step out, I hear a woman's giggle and a young man's rough, playful voice speaking softly. I peek around the corner to see the Yumasaka boy kissing the hand of the pretty maid that had accompanied Masaomi the second time he visited the castle.

_They look good together._ I smile. _This castle has got it going on... Er, not like that though... Well, maybe... Ah, never mind!_

I open the door to the garden as quietly as possible and step out and slowly close it again behind me. I stare up at the rabbit in the high moon. It's so gorgeous here, it has to be long after midnight. I giggle, thinking about all the overly eloquent, nonsensical lectures that Auntie would be giving me about being out after dark. (Once when I was small she told me I would get moonburn if I stayed out at night too long.) She's as full of crap as most seventy-five-year-olds are. I really love it here, sure my dear friends and family aren't here with me, but the castle is at the very edge of their territory, and not far from this one at all.

Before I can take another step, a cloth with an odd stench is clapped over my mouth and nose. Just as I start to struggle, my muscles weaken, my vision blurs, and then everything goes dark.

* * *

When I come to, I'm surrounded by a bunch of scruffy men that make me think of the bandits that run around the country. I'm faced down, so they don't see me open my eyes as one says, "C'mon, boss, just let us take 'er already, we've wait'ed long enough!"

A man with a firm and powerful voice responds in something that is between a grunt and a shout. "How many times do I gotta tell ya?! It's best if they're awake! You can hear them squeal in fear and moan with pleasure, the drug should wear off soon, so calm down! Plus it's your fault for giving her so much of it!"

Trying my best not to make any obvious movements, I look around the tiny hut that I and four other men are crammed into. I can see the door across the room, but my path is blocked by the overgrown miscreants. They have their backs to me, but I know that I can't fight them off alone, but I decide to take my chances. I'm sure I'm just a collateral for a ransom or something, so they won't harm me. I carefully loosen my obi then spring off the bed of straw I've been rested on and sprint as fast as possible around the thugs.

"Oi! You damn bitch!" One of the men scrambles to his feet, the others barely registering what has just happened. I'm just a few paces from freedom when I feel something clamp down on my ankle. I trip and howl in pain at the sudden ripping feeling in my ligaments. When the man releases me from his steely grip I curl up, attempting to reach my sprained ankle.

A bearded man whom I assume is 'Boss' grabs my wrists and presses me up against the wall with a sickening smirk. "You rich gals sure do put up a fight; and I must say that I like that kind of woman, they're so much more fun to have sex with."

_WHAT?!_

He yanks open my kimono and sees my chest, but doesn't seem too upset. "Well, well, looks like we got ourselves a little cross dresser, eh? No matter, the experience is the same either way. Boys, you'll have you're turn in several minutes." The others grin with excitement.

_No, no, NO!_ I clench my fists, preparing for the worst when something catches my eye. _Did that shadow just move?_

Suddenly, the roof collapses, carrying a woman in pitch black armor with it. One of the men screams in horror. "SHE-SHE HAS NO HEAD! IT'S A MONSTER!" Before any of them can make even a move, they are grabbed by Celty's shadow and held in the air, their protesting struggles doing them no good. The straw curtains are ripped from the doorway to reveal my Aunt, followed by Izaya. My heart almost stops when I see her eyes, blazing with purple flames of fury and hatred.

A young man pushes past my Aunt and runs toward me when I make out is face, I have to hold back my cry of relief and happiness. I reach out to my dear Masaomi and let out a gasp I've been holding when he embraces me in his comforting arms. "Did they harm you?! Are you okay?!" I can barely speak from my pounding heart, so I simply point down to my sprained ankle. He gently clasps it and scowls when he sees what's happened. "You bastards-"

"Calm down, Kidaki, I am Mikado's closest relative now, so this is under my jurisdiction." My Aunt says calmly but sternly. She turns to the men, the angry fire returning to her eyes. She snatches one of them from the grip of Celty's shadow and yanks him to her, his face inches from hers. "Alright, you swine, do you have any idea who I am?"

"Y-yer the Lady Kamikawa of the land south o' here, right?"

She grins, with a sick twist to the end of her mouth. "Good. Do you know who that is?" She asks, gesturing to me.

"I-I don't know, ma'am."

"THAT is my only living relative and the future wife of your young lord. You have failed my test-IZAYA!" Izaya nods wordlessly and jumps forward, plunging his blade into the man's gut.

My Aunt dumps his rumpled body to the floor and grabs another man from Celty, crushing his neck in her grip and holding him singlehandedly above the ground. She narrows her eyes as if she's looking into his mind. I could swear that for a moment, her eyes were glowing and and man's eyes were rolling into the back of his head. "Are you the ones that were behind the disappearing handmaidens at the Kidaki castle?"

Masaomi's head pops up when he hears this."What? My father said that they quit their jobs to work in the fields!"

She looks at Masaomi like he's a moron. "Come now, your father's ill and who in their right mind would want to work in the fields?" She swings around to face my kidnapper again. "You! Tell me now!"

In a hypnotizing monotone voice, the man responds without delay. "Yes we are. We had some of our men working there to catch them."

"You killed the girls afterwards, didn't you? What did you do with the bodies?"

"Yes, we killed them. We hid the bodies by the pond in the forest behind this house." This time, it's sounds like another voice coming out of his mouth. My Aunt scowls with disgust and throws him the floor, draws her blade and shoves it through his heart.

Masaomi collapses to the floor to bow to my Aunt as she puts away her sword. "Milady, I beg your forgiveness for this calamity. I knew not of the disappearances, and I beg you to take Mikado back to your palace for protection until we are positive that my residence is safe."

"Hush boy, it isn't your fault. However, the wedding will be put off until everyone in this gang is caught and executed. Izaya, have some of your men go to collect those bodies, I want the identifiable ones returned to their families." She snatches my wrist and pulls up, carrying me in one arm. "Come child, we must return to the palace it's not safe for you at the Kidaki castle; and it was hard enough for Celty to have a strand of her shadow broken off at such a distant location."

"What?! You attached her shadow to me to track me?!"

"It was for your own safety, Mikado. I was so worried with all the disappearances at the Kidaki palace that I couldn't bare to cut off all ties with you; and my actions proved useful."

I can't believe this. "Why can't you trust me, Auntie?! I'm an adult, I can watch myself now-"

"Then how did you plan on protecting yourself from those men?! You are all I have left now! I don't know what I would do if I lost you too!" She's right... Mother and Father were her only family, and I almost suffered the same fate as my brother moments before... "I only have one chance at raising a family... After what happened to them..." She murmurs under her breath, just barely audible for me. I have no idea what she's talking about, but I choose not to question her, for those memories seem to hurt her terribly.

* * *

**Wow, I can't believe that I wrote that much. I'M AMAZING! HOORAY! Whatever, thank you all again for your patience and support! Now that it's my summer break, I have stories gushing out of my ears! I'm thinking about writing a few tragedies~~ ohohohohoho! But now my hands hurt like hell and I must bid you all farewell~~ (For this chapter at least.)**


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